Therapist-Approved Ways To Deal With Depression If You Have DID


“Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase. Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness.” – Deborah Serani, PsyD

Having dissociative identity disorder (DID) can result in a lot of things. You may find yourself talking to someone you may not even remember greeting. There may be plenty of shopping bags and new clothes or shoes in your closet, also though you don’t recall getting them. Your colleagues may claim that they have seen you doing this and that, but you have zero recollection of what they are talking about. Every time these things happen, you may beg your therapist to recalibrate your brain because you cannot take your situation anymore.

One reality that patients with DID have to face is that there’s no cure for this condition, after all. A therapist can only teach you some coping mechanisms; a psychiatrist may merely be able to prescribe a sedative or another drug that can calm you down. However, knowing that you have an illness that not even the smartest scientist or most advanced technology can handle can be excruciatingly painful.

And, yes, depression soon comes after that. Since you do not want your other predominant personalities to put anyone in danger, you might lock yourself up in your bedroom and throw the key outside. When your loved ones try to help you, you shut them out because you feel like it’s too late to save you. It sounds like what heroes may say, but it’s true.

According to Sandra Hamilton, Ph.D, “I remember one client describing the onset of depression like the beginning of a roller coaster: It slowly creeps ahead and you can see and feel the fall coming, but you can’t do anything to stop it.”


Now, although DID and depression are both incurable diseases, the silver lining is that there are different ways to deal with the latter. You won’t need anti-depressants, frankly speaking. While the dissociative identity disorder may not go away through the tips we’re about to give, your determination to fight it may come back when you are no longer too depressed to do it.

So, without much ado, here are a few therapist-approved ways to deal with depression if you have DID.

Remember That God Is Not Punishing You

Whenever a person gets a hardship that makes him or her depressed, he or she gets mad to God for getting him or her into that situation. If you, my dear reader, are in a distressing situation, too, be in the know that God is not punishing you. He loves you, and He teaches us as any person does. It is our choice if we want to show Him that we deserve to be called His son or daughter or not by showing our strength over the challenges in our lives.

Go On A New Path

If your problem is on the right, go left – it’s as simple as that. It can’t be said that you’re cowering from the issue just because you are changing your course. Only, you are smart enough for knowing how to choose your battles so that you will be able to make yourself better.


It Happens For A Reason

The reason for your depression to comorbid with DID is something that you will realize in the future on your own. Perhaps it happened because you won’t think of facing the issue without hitting rock-bottom, for instance. Whether it’s there to open your eyes or make you feel that you need a life re-routing, the important thing is that you learn from it.

Accept Your Reality

Depression gets more substantial when the person who’s experiencing it keeps on denying the truth even to themselves. If you have multiple personalities that can appear at any time, accept it. In case you do something that you may not even think of while you are in that state, apologize for it. Learn how to accept the thing that made you depressed, no matter how shameful it is. This way, you can begin rearranging your life to its original position.

Love Yourself

Love yourself as you’ve never loved before because that’s only when you can genuinely pull yourself out of your misery. Do it not because I said so; do it because you want to be better.


Life Is Far From Being A Drag

Life is too lovely to be allowed to go to waste. It will be a shame if we keep on dragging it down because of our problems. We are not trying to invalidate how you feel; having DID and depression at the same time can be an experience that’s beyond everyone’s imagination. However, you only have one life. You should love it, enjoy it, and be the king or queen of it. Make the most of your life until it lasts.

In The End

“Life can often be unpredictable and stressful. Whether it’s divorce, job loss, relocation, death of a loved one or even a flat tire, life’s stressors can trigger many emotional states, including anxiety and depression.” – Laura Strom, LMFT

I know you may be hurting right now. You feel scared; you don’t know what you’ll end up doing tomorrow and not remembering it. You don’t want to have to depend on your loved ones to check up on you. However, the dissociative identity disorder is one big obstacle that you have to face, and there’s no way for other people to help you get rid of it. Instead of moping around and going down the depression lane, therefore, you should heed the tips mentioned above.

Switching Alters And DID


DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and alter switching are actually dependent on each other. Switching obviously means changing, but when associated with DID, switching pertains to changing into another part or another alter, as they are often called. Each of us has parts that compose our personality. You might have at some point in your life, commented once, “A part of me wants to improve my well-being.” For someone to describe a part of himself is perfectly normal, but for those with DID, psychology describes these parts as the ‘extreme parts’ of themselves that have separate beliefs, opinions, needs, thoughts, desires.

The switching is upsetting, difficult, and alarming. If you or someone you know has DID, it is vital that you are aware of the signs of when a person with DID is about to change parts or switch alters, and what one can do about it.

Signs To Watch Out For

Just as each person’s DID differs, alter switching may also be entirely different. Below is a list of experiences or events that might occur when a person with DID is on the verge of, or in the process of changing alters.

  • Head gets foggy
  • Hearing someone’s voice in one’s head
  • Feeling confused and frenzied
  • Inability to focus or make decisions appropriately
  • Hearing voices from somewhere far, like someone calling from a tunnel
  • Staring blankly on the floor or ceiling
  • Face affect changing and emotions reflect one’s facial expression
  • Changes in handwriting, from clear to messy or vice versa, and from cursive to print or vice versa
  • Change in the color and shape of the eyes
  • A feeling of detachment in oneself, as if someone else is taking over his body and mind
  • Shivers down the spine, as if feeling cold
  • Headaches that aren’t cured with pain medication
  • Dizziness and light-headedness
  • Difficulty making eye contact
  • Thinking out loud
  • A growing suspicion of the things and people around you
  • Taking deep breaths for stress relief


Causes Of Alter Switching

Switching alters in DID are caused by many factors. In some, they are unable to control the switch but they do know what events or circumstances might trigger the switch. Some of the common triggers include:

  • Profound and awkward feelings
  • Severe stress and fatigue
  • Bad or good memories
  • Severe anxiety
  • Annoying or irritating noise
  • Specific times or events of the year
  • Reminiscing through old photographs
  • Tight places
  • Somebody mentioning an alter’s name
  • Documenting events or writing a diary

The list above is a nice place to begin when you want to think ahead about the possible circumstances that might elicit a switch. It is good to practice understanding and noticing the triggers so one can prepare himself for what will happen next, for him and his family’s safety.

The switching of alters in DID is believed to occur in order to keep the system safe and functional. The things that happen in the DID system are always for a reason, despite the fact that you and I don’t know the what and the why. It can be a coping mechanism or a defensive reaction to something that it finds as a threat.

When Someone You Love Switches Alters

“Be kind to those suffering just as you would care for someone with the flu,” said Lisa Keith, PsyD.

If you’re still trying to find out what to do when your husband, friend or significant other has started switching alters, then you’re too late. Before this happens, you have to have a plan in place so that you know how to respond to the switch. Part of this plan should include asking questions to the new alter (or the head mate) if circumstances allow. If this is possible, first ask his or her name. Don’t request for the former alter to come out or they’ll feel rejected. Keep in mind that to show that you love someone with DID is to try to love all the alters, as they work together to keep the main person or head mate safe and protected. Stick to the plan of action and do not swerve in a different direction.


Finally, do not be angry or disappointed when an alter leaves and another alter takes his place because it may not even be associated with you at all, and disagreeing with any alter for that matter will never make you a friend or ally.

According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD, “Friends and loved ones can be a great support.”

Final Thoughts

If you have DID, remember that your alters have been with you long and strong for most of your life. They, in their own little or major ways, are there to keep you safe and secure. If they have not been a threat to you or your loved ones, you do not need to fight against each other. Instead, be kind to your alters and be friends with them. Just think of the times that they’ve saved you perhaps during the times when you couldn’t save yourself. Help someone by encouraging them to go to therapy. According to Margaret Wehrenberg, PsyD, “Psychotherapy can help sort out the cause, and that leads to the most effective treatment plan.”



Suicide And Dissociative Identity Disorder


Dissociative identity disorder or DID has several relevant concerns that patients and families of patients with the illness should be aware of, one of which is a suicide risk. People with DID are among the highest groups for suicide and suicide attempt. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) reported that over 70% of patients with the illness have tried to commit suicide; hence, multiple suicidal attempts are also common. Most of these patients are hesitant to visit their psychiatrist, especially when they are depressed, and so they turn to online therapy for help, which has had varying outcomes.

What are the triggers that push these DID patients to attempt suicide? Why are they so deep down with their depression that they would want to end their life? And can these suicidal thoughts be prevented?

Fact 1. Trauma and abuse during childhood increase the likelihood of suicide in patients with DID.

A lot of studies in the past were performed, and the outcomes have presented evidence of an unquestionable connection between suicide risk and childhood trauma. Constant battering, inappropriate discipline, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse in the past undeniably lead to a tremendously higher risk of suicide when the child becomes an adolescent and adult. Fact is that 90% of individuals with dissociative identity disorder have a history of childhood violence, neglect, and abuse. Thus, it makes sense that suicide risk is quite high. Child abuse plays a very crucial role.

Daniel Reidenberg, PsyD says “We know that when suicide is romanticized or glorified, that too leads to suicide contagion.” Take note that some children have suicidal issues. “Every family’s experience in the days, weeks, and months following a child’s suicide attempt is different,” according to Krystle Herbert, LMFT, PsyD. 

Fact 2. There are certain difficulties in evaluating suicide threats in DID.

Complications may arise when evaluating suicide risk in DID patients, especially when various alters emerge. It is because when one personality is suicidal, it doesn’t follow that the rest of the personalities are. In fact, it is possible that the other alters are not aware of the suicidal tendencies of another alter, which is totally true for those who are not co-conscious.

There are also other cases wherein the main person is not at all suicidal, but the other personalities are. In cases like this, the main person may not know that he has an alter who has suicidal behavioral patterns. This situation, referred to as dissociative amnesia, makes it difficult for the DID patient as well as for his therapists and his whole healthcare team. Some doctors have reported having assessed someone with DID in the emergency room, telling them that they can’t stop thinking about killing themselves and that they need help, only to come back after a few minutes talking to a totally new personality who is confused as to why he was even there!


Fact 3. Suicidal alters are common.

In DID systems, suicidal personalities exist, and they emerge as young or old. Yes, there are kid alters that are suicidal. Sometimes, alters that are not originally suicidal can have suicidal thoughts because of devastating flashbacks that can overpower them. In this instance, the alter is unable to control his temper, anxiety, and depression and feels continuously suicidal, which poses a threat to the main person. This is dangerous, as alters that have these patterns may not be able to understand that their behavior impacts the entire system.

Robyn E. Brickel, MA, LMFT suggests “Underestimating the need for suicide prevention is disastrous. Let us make time now to overcome the stigma of talking about mental health.”

Unfortunately, some alters are aware of this yet just don’t care. They want only to wreak havoc on the other personalities, with the goal of destroying the whole system. Attention to this matter is a must. It is vital that there is a team of professionals capable of handling these alters and keeping all of them alive.

Managing Suicidal Threats in Dissociative Identity Disorder

Suicidality is real in DID and managing it is very important. It is rather complicated to deal with because it also involves the alters. It is vital to note that when one part has suicidal ideations, that part should be allowed to be heard and not to be ignored. They should be able to express their feelings and their needs. As a therapist or a member of the healthcare team evaluating the DID patient, you can do this by encouraging a conversation and asking the other ‘relatively good’ parts of the system for help.


As someone who has DID, it is your responsibility to voice out your thoughts to your therapist so that he and the other members of the team can guide you with what to do. In case there are complications that you or your family cannot handle, go to the nearest emergency room. It is for you and your family’s safety. Reach out. It is what’s best for almost anyone who needs help.




New York Therapy – Getting Rid Of Dissociation

I am a single mom with two kids, and I currently live in the busy streets of New York. I am now trying to get rid of a mental illness particularly called dissociative disorder through the help of my therapist. The New York therapy involvement is a great help for my recovery, and that is why I’m going to share my struggle in this journey. I will talk about what the conditions are and what helpful things you can do about it.

Yes, there are desirable things we can do to get rid of dissociation. There are grounding techniques that perhaps works with different scenarios. It could be a breathing exercise, writing, cooking, yoga, or anything that healthily preoccupies the brain (read further here: However, I will focus on the importance of therapy.


The Dissociation

Katie Ziskind, LMFT says “Disassociating is what happens when someone experiences a severely traumatic event. Their mind goes to a happier place. It’s a survival mechanism for getting through an emotionally shocking or overwhelming event.”

Perhaps you know someone who is also struggling from this condition or maybe you yourself experienced some dissociative issues in the past. You might also have some episodes and probably thinking what the heck is the problem with you. Sometimes it boggles you because you seem not to remember anything that has happened to you. You get stressed out because there’s an extreme feeling of irritability.

For the record, there are a bunch of dissociative disorders. These include dissociative amnesia, dissociative identity, depersonalization-derealization, and so on. Commonly, these conditions are the result of psychological trauma connected to abuse. It could be sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, drug and alcohol, and such. Due to the psychological damage and stress of these harmful factors, the brain starts to protect us. It wants to keep us safe so it starts to create a coping mechanism that will wipe out the little things related to the cause of the trauma we are experiencing. That’s why there’s anxiety, depression, eating disorder, self-harm, and the list goes on that we usually endure. These mental states are the brain’s coping mechanism, and dissociation is another way to cope as well. There’s also this feeling of waking up when we weren’t even asleep. That can be freaky, but it’s our minds way to help us take a break from the things that are too overwhelming to handle. These are the psychological and emotional stuff we often consider normal.

Deborah Serani, PsyD says “Sometimes trauma causes a third option where your mind dissociates, fragments or shifts into denial. When this happens, your body goes numb, limp or stops in its place like a deer in headlights.”


What To Expect

It is normal to feel numb when suffering from any dissociative disorder. There are times that some of us may experience tingling in feet and fingers. There’s a feeling like we are always falling asleep even though we are wide awake. There’s a feeling of getting chills. And yet not remembering anything is also part of the whole experience. With all of these expectations, we don’t have to think that what’s happening to us will make us crazy. These symptoms are the usual response to dissociative disorder (more details here:

There are many things we can do to aid the condition. The most common is talking to a therapist about all of its details. It allows empowerment over experiences that cause different emotions. These include anything traumatic that has happened to us or something that we believe is causing the dissociation. With that process, we can try to find out what that triggering factor is so we can address it in detail as well. That’s because the more we talk about what is bothering us; it will become easier to shut the book and move passed to it finally. Since the primary purpose of therapy is to know what and where the dissociation started, we can be in control with our selves. Once we understand what our emotional and mental capabilities are, we can quickly recover from mental illness.


Things To Do

Apart from therapy, something that we should always keep in mind is the idea of having good people around us. We need to obtain the skills of communication so we can vent off those feelings, open and share it to others. We need contributing outlets that will stop us from getting too much overwhelmed. We need to surround ourselves with gentle, understanding, patient, and kind individuals who are more than willing to help us get rid of our condition. We need to allow them to work with us in the long term because the recovery takes a while.

On a final note, says Noel Hunter, PsyD, “Well, not too many people agree on this. It also appears as though the more professionals attempt to come to a consensus on what this term means, the more they do so in an effort to delineate it from any possible association with “psychosis”; their attempts to define dissociation are done by disassociating.”

Self-Help Strategies For Coping With Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is somewhat a misunderstood mental illness because of the uncertainty that characterizes it. Sometimes, even the family itself to which people with DID belong find it challenging to understand and respond to the effects and manifestations of DID. Considering that it is a highly dysfunctional and pervasive mental disorder that takes its hold on a person on a long-term basis, DID is something that patients often just learn to live with, rather than completely get rid off.

In that regard, it becomes critical to learn various coping mechanisms to DID which patients can do on their own. Here are a few self-help strategies that could make DID symptoms more manageable:


Did You Know? “Brain imaging research has even shown the practice to be associated with an increase in gray matter volume in 4 areas of the brain and beneficial changes in the activation of parts of the brain.” – Saundra Jain, MA, PsyD, LPC

Do Not Blame Yourself

The internal mental and emotional torture is almost always what aggravates the negative feelings associated with DID. When you find yourself struggling with this and feeling ashamed of what you are experiencing, do yourself a favor and cease the blaming. Regardless of your circumstances, you are worthy, loved, and accepted. As much as possible, try to fight back depression. Deborah Serani, PsyD says “Depression is an insidious, isolating disorder, which can sabotage relationships.”

Learn Distress Tolerance Skills

One particular crisis survival method is the TIPP which stands for Temperature change, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, and Progressive muscle relaxation. Transfer to a cooler place or dip your hands in cold water to lower the tension. Then distract yourself from the trigger and focus on exercising instead. Finally, practice proper breathing and muscle stretching to relax your whole body and normalize the energies.

Have Helpful Reminders On Hand

It could be a keychain, a bookmark, your phone’s wallpaper, a sticker on your notebook – it could be anything. Wherever you go, make sure to bring with you something that could remind you of your worth, something encouraging, and something that could lift you. Turn to these reminders and hold on to them. Repeat them in your head until it calms you down and relaxes your mind. 


Keep A Journal With You

Whenever you start feeling the dissociations, try to write them down. It could be a bit hard to pause and take yourself back, but a little practice could help. Take the time to note what possible negative emotions might have triggered the attack. Soon enough, try to read through your experiences, and you will be surprised by the various personalities you unknowingly exhibit.

Put A Soothing Music On Standby

Soothing music has been proven to be an effective technique to relax and calm a person down, especially with the onset of DID. Researches from neuroscience repeatedly report that listening to relaxing songs can reduce the anxiety brought about by DID. So try to have those soothing songs on standby in your phone or on repeat and play it whenever you feel like the symptoms of DID are taking its toll on you.

Turn Your Attention To Other Things

Coping mechanisms vary for different people. For others, distractions could help, such as watching TV, taking time to play with pets, going out for a walk, or doing their hobbies like drawing, painting, or writing. By shifting their attraction to other things, they tend to forget, for the meantime, what was supposedly triggering the DID symptom. You could also try one of these, but make sure to do the distraction that fits you the most. According to Ron Siegel, PsyD, “it can be essential to foster one specific type of self-awareness.”


Do Not Inhibit Any Personality

Although it is just natural to feel frustrated with having to experience two distinct personalities, do not try to destroy either of them. On the other hand, sympathize with both and manage both identities carefully. It will eventually become easier to learn the triggers and overcome your fears and pains.

Have Your Doctor On Call

It is crucial to ask for help when you need it. Never hesitate to reach out to your doctor and other experts in the field to help you manage the symptoms of DID. Be observant of your surroundings and freely give your therapist a call when you need to. It is imperative to be open to your therapist as this would allow them to help better you to address your needs.

While there could be a lot of self-help strategies that you could do when left alone and a trigger happens for you Dissociative Identity Disorder, it is still highly recommended that you have somebody with you all the time when you can. A strong support system from your family and close friends would help you big time, especially in cases of possible self-harm which you might find a bit difficult to control when symptoms of DID take over.

DID is not an easy mental health concern to handle, but it can be done. Many people living with DID have nevertheless become successful and content with their lives. If you ever find yourself struggling in dealing with your DID, never lose hope. There is always a way to come out victorious over mental illnesses.

Common Myths About Dissociative Identity Disorder Debunked

Often depicted in movies as split personalities, dissociative identity disorder (DID) has gained popularity in the past years but has remained highly misunderstood. It is difficult for a lot of people to wrap their heads around the concept of such fragmented personalities which come as “alters” or different versions of the self.

DID is a condition wherein patients exhibit drastic changes in their behavior, consciousness, emotions, and memory to almost depict a different person or persons altogether. The frightening part is that it happens almost instantaneously and unexpectedly, stripping the patient off of control over themselves.

According to Noel Hunter, PsyD, “Wikipedia defines dissociation (in the broad sense) as: “an act of disuniting or separating a complex object into parts.” I do not believe that many mental health professionals, particularly dissociation researchers, would entirely disagree with this definition.”

Here are five myths about dissociative identity disorder, alongside the corresponding facts of each matter:


DID Is Simply A Fantasy

There are groups of people who believe that DID is a function of the patient’s tendency to fantasize, thereby perpetuating the stigma against DID patients. The truth of the matter is that DID is a product of traumatic and violent actual experiences. As the patient enters into a defensive state of mind, the dissociations serve as coping mechanisms to escape the stress brought about by merely remembering the tragic memories.

According to Deborah Serani, PSyD, “Trauma physically and mentally impacts our mind and body the moment it happens.”

DID Is Also Schizophrenia


While both of them are mental health disorders, schizophrenia is focused on the patient’s difficulty of distinguishing correctly between reality and imagination. It is characterized by hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia instead of alternate personalities—which are characteristic of DID. DID patients do not enter into a delusional state as the chemical make-up of their brains is different for people with schizophrenia.

“Physical fitness has been shown to boost cognitive function in people with schizophrenia – a particularly attractive option because it does not create stigma in the way that engaging in in-person therapy or taking medications might – and it is essentially free of side effects,” said Jimmy Choi, PsyD.

People With DID Are Demon-Possessed

Those who encounter DID for the first time often confuse it with some form of possession by the devil because it seems like an entirely different soul or person takes over the body of the patient. In reality, dissociation involves a detachment from only certain aspects of the patient’s personality which is too painful or difficult to deal with. The “alters,” though different, complement each other into one overall being.


People With DID Do Not Know Their Alters

While dissociative amnesia and certain memory lapses are symptoms of DID, it is not true that DID patients are completely unaware of their “alters.” Most patients could even talk about their dissociations and identify the differences in their characteristics. Actually, with proper diagnosis and treatment, patients can also develop internal communication between dissociations—a gradual process that would help in the eventual recovery of a person suffering from DID. 

People With DID Live Abnormally

Movies may portray DID to look darker, more challenging to deal with, and even more violent than it actually is because people with DID do live their lives normally. Their days are filled with doing regular jobs, household chores, and family time. Various patients with DID successfully go through and finish their studies, as well as get stable careers after that. People with DID can maintain sustainable relationships with other people too.

Two in every ten people do experience dissociative identity disorder in their lifetimes, and while it may not be as commonly talked about like depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, it is nevertheless an existing reality that affects thousands of people across the globe. It’s time that we stop the stigma and create a safe space for people to overcome their mental challenges.

Dealing With The Extremes: The Grief Of Losing Yourself


We all had a moment when we had to make a choice, but most of the time, we already know what we want. However, which one is worse? Is it when we need to discern or is it when we have to deal with the extremes? Dealing with the extreme could be the most challenging thing. It is like being trapped in too much love and hate, grand dreams and huge fears, and they’re all happening in your head all at the same time.


It is like in a relationship, for instance, marriage. You love that person so much, but then, you have also learned to hate him throughout the time you were together. It’s like living with the person you love and hate the most, and your thoughts are bouncing back and forth on whether you are sticking with the positive or negative emotions you are feeling.


Sadly, you can lose yourself along the way, and one of the most unfortunate things that could happen to a person is to grieve for oneself because it is also like giving up and allowing yourself to die in a situation. According to Marni Goldberg, LMFT, LPCC, “The more that you get used to reading the physical signs from your body and connecting them to your thought process, the easier it will be to identify the triggers and figure out a solution or deal with the fears head-on.”


3 Ways You Can Lose Yourself In A Relationship:

  • Sometimes, fear swallows us whole. We fail to recognize that we only have one life and that holding on to something that poisons our existence is a waste of time. For instance, why do you stay in a toxic relationship? Is it because of the time and emotion you have invested, or is it because you are afraid to hurt the other person that you are willing to sacrifice the risk of losing yourself?


  • When you are in an uncertain position, you tend to hope for the best, that things will get better. Sure, it will, but the question is when. You get stuck in uncertainty, and you die inside while waiting. When you are in a bad situation, you owe it to yourself to make it better instead of waiting. You are wasting your time. It’s like choosing between happiness and misery. You know which one to pick, all you need to do is have the courage to decide what you think is best for you.


According to Arianna Smith, LPC, EMDR, “True self-love involves showing up for yourself even when you feel unlovable, or shameful. It involves taking the steps to listen to yourself, identify what caused you to not respect or identify your needs or boundaries.”


  • When you think and hope that the other person loves you, your desire to be with him blinds you that you don’t mind if he sincerely loves you. It is not enough that someone agrees to be with you. He should be committed, and he should know that there are responsibilities that come with being in a relationship, and a few of those is not to letyou get hurt and to help you grow.



It is a tragic thing to let yourself die emotionally and silently grieve while hoping that one day you will be resurrected. Time is something we cannot take back once lost, so dying while in a relationship is something you do to yourself. Instead of living in misery and blaming your partner for it, get out of the relationship and spare yourself of grieving alive.


Trudi Griffin, LPC says “Self-worth is what enables us to believe that we are capable of doing our best with our talents, of contributing well in society, and that we deserve to lead a fulfilling life. Building it up again is therefore natural, essential, and healthy.”


The Impact of Depression on Dissociation

Dissociation Defined


To dissociate is to separate – that is what it means according to the dictionary. That is, dissociating is disconnecting from something or someone. In individuals with dissociative disorders, this is their forte. Because they are too hurt to recall the trauma that they have experienced, they separate themselves from the reality and from their own identity. This is a coping mechanism that will later lead to a distorted sense of identity and the feeling of not knowing oneself, or having different selves for that matter.

According to Katie Ziskind, LMFT, Often this dissociation is an internal defense mechanism to a traumatic event or intense situation. Your mind disconnects itself in order to protect your consciousness.

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The Alters And Their Stories

The Alters


Meet Anne, the playful. She loves going out when I’m asleep. She has many friends (I don’t actually know most of them) and she loves drinking and going to parties with them. She’s the reason why I can’t go to work on time, because she comes home at 4 in the morning and work starts at 9. But she’s okay. She doesn’t hurt me or anyone I love.



Meet John, the suicidal one. He’s the introvert. He’s just too shy to show himself, even to me. When he’s out, he watches television or listens to music. He’s responsible for the cuts on my wrist. I want to help him but he’s too elusive. I sometimes wake up in the morning finding his knife behind my pillow, and I wonder if there was anything I could do if he decided to end his life – my life.


Meet Alex, the lesbian. She knows I hate loose shirts but she keeps buying them when she goes out to shop. Her girlfriend thinks she’s crazy because she comes and goes anytime she wants, and sometimes she disappears for two weeks! She often brings her girls in the house and I hate it when I wake up and see them in the living room, eating my cereal and drinking my coffee!


And how can I forget George, my protector. He’s my father figure, because I never had one growing up. He’s always warm and very welcoming to friends and family. He loves to cook and take care of the cleaning in the house, so I love it when he shows. Everything smells good! I think he’s the only sane alter I know (relatively speaking).


Lisa the Host


I’m Lisa and I have multiple personality disorder. It’s a type of dissociative identity disorder where a person – like me – forms alters or other personalities to cope with the bad things and memories that she experienced.


I feel that these personalities have been helping me deal with my past, but on the other hand, they also destroy it, by being not me and doing the things that I don’t usually do. Some of them, like John, don’t want to go to work so he tends to make me lazy in the morning. Anne reinforces him by staying up very late when she goes to her friend’s parties.


I have been going to therapy for the past months. My mom says I should because I do need help dealing with my alters – the voices inside me. I also find other ways to help myself. I’m thinking of joining an anonymous chat service that I read from an online therapy community.  They say that sometimes it’s good to vent to a stranger because you can be honest about anything and everything. I think that’s true (but George disagrees).


There are days when I don’t feel like talking to my therapist, simply because I don’t want to. Perhaps that’s how I am. That’s how I can be. I actually have about ten personalities, but I just introduced you to four because the others I can’t really describe. I can tell you – it is difficult keeping up with all of them, but somehow I’ve managed.


I am a living example of someone who is mentally ill but still hopeful for what is called a future. I’m taking medications and it’s been helping me manage my symptoms too. “What kind of future do I have,” I sometimes ask. I don’t really know. I’m just thankful every day that I’m alive and have a family that loves me for what I am (Anne says she loves me too).

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