My partner was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. A mental disorder that can affect one’s personality and his association with other people – that’s D.I.D. In this situation, I then became the so-called “significant other.”
In the past, information on the said condition was quite limited, that is why I had to sort it out and find ways of dealing with it. In my 25 years of coping with someone suffering from DID, I learned many things.
As A Significant Other Of Someone With DID, You Have Many Questions.
Because of my experience, many spouses who are in the same boat as I am would like to know how I survived and lived with it. Well, I am urging you to ask me those questions, and I would try my best to provide the answers. However, it is also imperative to learn as much as you can about DID. Check official websites or from public libraries. As much as possible, I always tell him the truth. Leah K. Barison, LPCC says “By nature of telling a lie, you are keeping a secret.”
We Get Very Lonely, And That’s A Fact Because Of His Disorder.
Because of my partner’s somewhat eccentric behavior, we get a lot of complaints. There are times wherein I feel so isolated from others. Our friends would avoid us and even make excuses for them to stay away. Of course, we get very lonely. However, I discovered that dealing with this all alone will worsen the situation. I began opening up to my loved ones, and let other people know how we feel. We also have a once-a-week meeting with a counselor.
I also came across an article online wherein Alicia H. Clark, PsyD said “It’s easy to fear that you are behind in some life race, and will never catch up to your friends, but nothing can ruin your intrinsic motivation faster than comparing yourself to others.”
I Love Him, And That’s Why I Choose To Stay Despite His DID.
We are still a typical couple despite my partner’s condition. Like imperfect human beings in love, we argue and squabble. We sometimes say words we don’t even mean and end up hurting each other. In my case, it is so easy to leave him, and one of the main reasons is his disorder. But I wouldn’t dream of it. We stayed because we love each other. Love conquers all, right? It can even overcome DID. Seriously. However, there are times when I wanted to be alone for a little while. I learned from Kevin Gilliland, PsyD that “There is a difference between time alone and isolation.”
He Is Not Dangerous; Not All People With DID Are Killers Or Criminals.
Sometimes, media wrongly sensationalizes how people with mental disorders act, in general. They make the person with such conditions look dangerous and harmful to others. But the truth is, these patients are not a harm to others. They need understanding and compassion from the people around them for them to move as frequently as possible in the society.
I suggest that you keep your hearts open and try to understand the severe situation. Most of the people with DID are just victims of wrongdoings from their childhood. They don’t need your disdain and your judgment. These people want to be understood and accepted.
Living With A Person Who Has DID IS Not All Bad.
Despite his condition, my husband is very productive. He learns things, applies them and creates something worthwhile. When he starts a particular project, he will accomplish it. He has lots of skills and knows how to work on many different things especially in the arts. He can be very prolific in his own pace. My husband is also not financially dependent on me. He even takes care of our rent.
Dissociative Identity Disorder is a disorder that can be surpassed by acceptance and compromise. It will be hard at first, but love will guide you through the circumstances. Listen to your instincts and since you know your partner well, eliminate your doubts. If you are getting help from a professional for the condition, then it’s one less issue solved. But remember, you are your partner’s best doctor.