13 Things Your Spouse With Dissociative Identity Disorder Wants You To Know


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DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder is a mental health illness characterized by a person having more than one identity. People with the said disorder experience trouble in sorting out their emotions and self-perception. They also experience memory loss and split behavior.


Having this condition is never easy. It can affect everything in a person’s life – his relationships, career, and everyday function. That is why individuals with DID wish for other people’s infinite consideration. With this, there are things you need to know to further understand people with this mental health disorder. If your spouse has DID, please read this article.


They Have More Than One Identity.

People with DID have multiple personalities. Each personality has its character, preferences, memories and even a voice tone. Each identity takes place one at a time. You have to understand that.


Anyone Can Suffer From DID.


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Everyone and anyone is at risk of suffering from the disorder. But this mental health issue is prone to people who experienced trauma during their childhood.


They Utilize Pronouns Like US, WE And OUR.

The present identity acknowledges all the other personalities and even treats it as a real person; possibly a friend.


Each Identity Has Unique Traits.

Each personality or identity of the person with DID has his own unique set of characteristics among alters. These identities are entirely different from one another.


They Are Unable To Determine Their True Identity.

Since there are many different personalities within a person troubled by dissociative identity disorder, he is often confused. The person has trouble determining his real identity.


Isolation Worsens The Situation.

Because of DID, individuals with the said disorder will seem odd to other people’s eyes. They tend to shy away and isolate themselves. Isolation will not help as it will only worsen the situation.




Late Diagnosis Is A Problem.

Discovery of this disorder on a person can happen during adulthood. If misdiagnosed or taken for granted, it will be too late to treat adequately. The person can be branded as “crazy” for acting strange when his personalities change.


Misdiagnosis Is A Bigger Problem.

Symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder are quite similar to some mental health illnesses. It is the reason why it is often misdiagnosed. It must be corrected before one of the personalities creates a big problem.


Not All People With DID Are Violent.

The movies are misleading. Not all people with DID are violent, but there are some documented cases though. It is possible, but not generally common.

According to Gunnur Karakurt, LMFT, “Intimate partner violence (IPV) has serious effects on human well-being, and prevention of IPV is an important public health concern.”


They Are Not Aware That Alters Exist As They Believe It’s A Different Person.

Each of the identities has no knowledge that another exists within. They believe that the “alters” are real and are different people living among them. Thus, the person experiences memory gap.


The Identities Are Looking From The Outside.

When a specific personality takes control of the body, it’s like that person is out of the body witnessing the scenario from a distance.


Multiple Identities Can Take Place At Once.

There are times when more than one identity will fight for the control of the person’s mind. It happens a lot to some who are not under therapy. Jason B. Whiting, PhD, LMFT said “Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame.”



Some Identities Work Together To Solve Problems While At Times, They’re In Conflict.

There are times wherein identities work together to solve personal issues. They can work together in unison, but there are also times wherein they oppose one another. It will then make things more difficult.


Here are just 13 things that your spouse with DID “wants” you to know about him. If you get the idea, it’s not the literal meaning. It’s more of the need to be understood as to what the disorder can do to them and affect their behavior and personality.


On the next article, there will be 13 more things to discuss. It is in the hope of this article’s writer to impart knowledge to you so that you’ll know how to handle your spouse with DID. You have to let your husband know about these beautiful words from Erin Mendoza, PsyD: “Self-compassion is not tough love or false hope, but connecting the pain with understanding, curiosity, and a sincere wish for relief based in kindness and love rather than criticism and disgust.”